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house md funny clinic hours s3.wmv

22170 ratings | 4445737 views
this video is a compilation of some of House's clinic hours where he mocks patient after patient
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Text Comments (843)
Robby Kunkel (2 days ago)
Loved House with his patients.
Tejas Rao (10 days ago)
Can someone explain what he meant by the gnarly fingers part?
Jurgen Kopliku (10 days ago)
The lady patient has bad breath and by looking at the cuts or calluses on her fingers, House deduces that she is inducing vomiting frequently herself in order to stay thin.
Dead Ringer (18 days ago)
It is Lupus.....
Chasity (22 days ago)
Lol he is so straight forward and funny.
Diana A (25 days ago)
'it's about my bowel movements''what isn't, these days?'
TheFloodDude (29 days ago)
5:33 Hey that guy is supposed to be blue
yngcalico (1 month ago)
whatever floats your poop
liljon (1 month ago)
"Whatever floats your poop" is the most masterful response I ever heard
The Bedside bear (1 month ago)
Poop love fades after 6 months kids
Hotel? Trivago (1 month ago)
Patient:hey doc what's a good TV show? House:...heard of Dawson's creek?
BFF's Together 4 Ever (1 month ago)
"Either you suck at math or you gonna die in 2 seconds"
Debbie Nandalall (1 month ago)
That first patient was stupid
Akinetopsia.... The real life lag! Can't see shit very well, To others you look like someone having a seizure.
Larissa Maendel (1 month ago)
Has anyone stopped to ask house house managed to get thru medical school with his attitude
TOUGH MAN RANDY SAVAGE (1 month ago)
The way he looks at the guy is hilarious, Are you insane?!?!
krispy (1 month ago)
No one: Youtube Recommendation:
Pistachio (1 month ago)
Really need to know what happens to poop float guy...
Eltrio2 (1 month ago)
2:57) Uh... Probably shouldn't have included her.
Mafia X (2 months ago)
I feel like hes the real rick from rick and morty. No? Just me?
ryan Mosey (2 months ago)
I loved House and was sad to see it go.
Frederik kjær (2 months ago)
I wish House was on Netflix :(
The DJ (2 months ago)
I don't get the last joke? I'm assuming the fat dude isn't a vegan anymore because fiber wouldn't make your shit float, it makes it sink. Therefore he says poop love fades.
Ron T. (2 months ago)
House was and will always be the best show...Got to love Greg House!!
IgnatianMystic (2 months ago)
3:12 Caress the tiddies, House. CARESS THE TIDDIES!!
Raabherself (2 months ago)
GARTH!!!!!!!!!!!
abi pett (2 months ago)
Incase anyone lives this show but doesn’t want to pay money for it on YouTube: if you have amazon prime, all the seasons are free! Just go to prime video (you have to have amazon PRIMEh
Spiritdove (2 months ago)
I love to have him as my doctor. hahaha hes real
Cats 2079 (2 months ago)
"I'll explain after this break," then the video actually cut to a commercial!
Aki Greus (2 months ago)
TTTOOooooooeeeeloooooppp
Daniel VIllalobos (2 months ago)
first thing to do when someone has a seizure, dont hold them, try to make sure they wont get hit somewhere but dont hold them.
TheMischievousbull (2 months ago)
I love the little head twitches House does at 0:37 after the guy asks if he is insane.
PurpleFiiilth (2 months ago)
When that first guy asks house if he's insane lmfao, he was actually speechless, like is this guy really that dumb
Sweet Mother53 (2 months ago)
I am a female House.
Nomad Equipment (3 months ago)
I can NOT stop farting
Gamer4ever (3 months ago)
40:40 radcliff? you mean daniel radcliff?
Sprite (3 months ago)
As someone with a genetically pathetic immune system, it really pisses me off when people go to the doctor with ailments that can be cured with a tablet of paracetamol. I've had to wait 50 minutes fainting and/or puking in a waiting room because some kid running around the room has a sniffle.
Drew B (3 months ago)
Jack, is your mommy a big fat idiot? Gets me every time.
Ayylmao (3 months ago)
OK I WATCHED IT NOW PLEASE GET OUT OF MY RECOMMENDED, I DONT EVEN KNOW WTF THIS SHOW IS
Veal Hudak (3 months ago)
HAHAHAHAHA THATS FUNNY
semicolon autocolon (3 months ago)
1:06 za warudo
elena neens (3 months ago)
Poop love fades
YaBoi (3 months ago)
Funny clinic hours: kid has seizure
Factfur (3 months ago)
"no, you're pregnant" he might have penis cancer, house
ryan richer (3 months ago)
If we are being realistic a good doctor would probably recommend getting a softer/more supportive bed.
The Cognitive People (3 months ago)
Don't lie on your arm then ... lmao
fakecubed (3 months ago)
As a former EMT I went out on numerous complete-waste-of-time calls over stuff even stupider than a lot of what House had to deal with in the clinic. If you think patients are stupid that make it to a clinic, just imagine the stupidity of those patients who can't even be bothered to drive themselves to one, but in the spur of the moment decide to dial 911. I think my favorite was when some poor guy's wife called 911 because her husband's nosebleed *stopped*. Not a lot we can do when the problem has literally been over even before you call us to your house, lady. The worst calls were always old people who couldn't even describe what symptoms they were experiencing, at all, beyond some vague "I feel bad", but these were frequently compounded by utterly useless nursing home staff who don't give a shit about the elderly in their care and don't even bother to mention that somebody fell and hit their head until you've already got them in the ambulance without spinal support. Diabetics not managing their symptoms and alcoholics/drug addicts were pretty annoying too, just because self-destructive behaviors are a huge waste of resources when there might be patients sick or hurt through no fault of their own. About half the time calls required no transport at all because somebody only called 911 because they were some business owner or cop trying to avoid liability over somebody getting a boo-boo on their property on on their patrol. That's not to say you shouldn't treat every ambulance on the road as anything other than a real emergency. Many patients don't get the lights-and-sirens treatment because the EMTs are trying to keep the patient's blood pressure down, but somebody inside is still facing a life-or-death medical situation. Do the right thing and pull off to the side and let the ambulance go past. EMTs frequently see people on the worst days of their lives. The job is often frustrating, but often inspiring as well, and I still remember the name of every pediatric patient I ever went out on call to see. I grew cynical after a while, like many EMTs do (the burn-out rate is very high), but I also got to see and do some incredible things, met some incredible people, and I'll always have a ton of stories from that time of my life.
GeminiStargazer (1 month ago)
Self-destructive behaviours must be super frustrating but at least they aren’t wasting time with stupid shit, they genuinely need help even if it’s themselves they need the help with
Nomad Equipment (1 month ago)
Hey I appreciate what you do but am definitely NOT jealous. I always thought it was ironic that emergency services risk their lives typically to save the lives of people who put others in danger. You're a better person than I. I'd probably do 3 bogus calls before smacking someone.
fakecubed (3 months ago)
Leire Gómez strange story. Well as an aside, EMTs aren’t legally empowered to declare anyone dead, that only happens at the hospital, unless a body is totally cold and obviously dead for a long time (or something else obvious like decapitated). A warm corpse still has to be treated by EMTs until ordered to stop at the hospital by a doctor, or the body is turned over to a higher standard of care (again, generally at a hospital). When a patient dies there’s usually other patients that need to be treated by an EMT, like the family members or friends nearby who might be in shock and need some standard of care. They become the patients. Triage is a bit of a different situation. When there’s a mass casualty incident, like a 30 car pileup on the highway, EMTs can’t afford to take time with patients that are expected to die, because there’s nothing that can be done for them in the field that is likely to make a difference. Those patients are tagged as “expectant” and an EMT has to quickly move on to the patients he or she can actually save, starting with the most serious (but treatable) cases. EMTs get trained quite a bit on how to do triage correctly, but thankfully such situations are rare. I missed a big one by just a few months, it happened earlier in the year when I first got certified as an EMT. The first EMT on the scene came to our class to talk about it and explain what happened. There are of course lots of debriefs afterwards to figure out what went right and wrong, and how to handle MCIs better in the future, and that information goes right into training for the future.
Leire Gómez (3 months ago)
Your story reminded me of an EMT I met some years ago, on a First Aid course. I don't know what's tge name in English for what she did, but her job was basically "social care": usually helping elder people to get back up when they had had an awful fall, etc. She had to be available literally 24/7 every two weeks, and anytime she'd get a call, she had to leave everything as it was and go to the address. One day, she had to go to some apartment, to help lift an old man, the usual. But, for some reason, she was also told that a ambulance with a medic was already there, so she thought: "Why do they need me, then?" She arrived, the medic was waiting outside for her arrival, and they got into the elevator together. She asked him: "So, how is it going?", as she had got very little info'. "As best as we can", he shrugged as if it was nothing. So, she felt more relaxed, and once they got in, she straight went to then lying man and started reassuring him, like: "How do you feel? I'm gonna help you up, okay? It's gonna be fine." She didn't get an answer, so she thought he was deaf or something, but then she noticed that the man's relatives were glaring daggers at her. "No, no. He's dead", said the medic. She was really shocked; first, she had never been called to lift a corpse, and second, she was very pissed at the medic for not telling her at the elevator. I mean, she looked like a sociopath, talking friendly to a corpse
Hang Thanh (3 months ago)
can anyone explain to me the fake urine test result?? why he fake it?
fakecubed (3 months ago)
He didn't fake the results, he gave the real results, which is why he knew the urine wasn't actually the guy's urine, it was his girlfriend or some other female he knew.
Florencia Coldman (3 months ago)
"poop-love fades" should be the name of an emo-rock band
oriontherealironman (3 months ago)
After this break.... Me: Oh shit there's actually a break XD
Cricket Istheman (3 months ago)
probably a coincidence, but a damn good one, when he said I'll explain after this break and walked out, an add played!!!
Jordan Mokricky (3 months ago)
Patient: “My arm only hurts when I sleep on top of it at night” House “Were gonna have to amputate, guys gotta be able to sleep at night”
Eleeth Tahgra (3 months ago)
5:37 Why? To make DNA sample for Avatar.
David (3 months ago)
1:57 I don’t get it, what satisfaction would you get? What?
Catzilla (3 months ago)
"Are you insane?" House: "ʘ‿ʘ" lol
McAmber (3 months ago)
Doctor who has such a huge ego, but i love those series.
Brian White (2 months ago)
Who ? Since when was Hugh Laurey, a Time Lord ?
House is like the medical version of Deadpool
Gina DOOLITLE Gina (4 months ago)
Omg🤣😂SWS-sex while stupid😁😂😂
J A (4 months ago)
It’s unfortunate that the show decided to stigmatize getting STD tested for the sake of a laugh. It’s worth it to get tested regularly even if you do generally use condoms. Insinuating to the audience that people should feel shame or will be shamed by a medical professional for taking care of themselves and getting tested is unfortunate. Also, the joke wasn’t that funny, so... bummers all around, huh?
Teardrop (4 months ago)
Me: It hurts when I touch my back Doc. Doctor: Sorry to hear that, then don't touch it.
a random frog (4 months ago)
that last one with the nutritionist made me laugh my ass off
David Lucey (4 months ago)
If somebody skinned Dr. house alive,God him/herself would call it justice.
SuperVegitoFAN (4 months ago)
2:13 impressive WTF face.
Juju (4 months ago)
have you guys seen that after school special
Lily Ferrari - OFFICIAL (4 months ago)
I could watch this during hours.
Marco mar (4 months ago)
3:03 damn she is hot
TeamFaust1 (4 months ago)
First guy...isn't that the doctor in Parks and Rec?
The random Weasel guy (4 months ago)
I don’t know why but almost all of my favorite characters are sassy and sarcastic and rude
Juan Villegas (4 months ago)
where can i find the show with the english subtitles?
William Winder (4 months ago)
3:10 Sometimes you want to loose a bet.
Gauss24 (4 months ago)
3:05 goddamn have some fun in there
Jihad Ahmed (4 months ago)
House: Is your mommy a big fat idiot? Kid: *nods head yes*
Gurgle (4 months ago)
How the fuck to he get to 26 that fast?
EvilTwin-niwTlivE (4 months ago)
7:08 Piper Perabo. From Covert Affairs, USA network. I'm Cliff Clavin' s nephew.
Kyle Wolnik (4 months ago)
Whatever floats your poop
Brown Sugar (4 months ago)
My brother broke his nail and he started to bleed a lot Beg me to take him to ER So I went there and my brother told Doctor that his dying his blood is extremely painful 😖 😲 😂 😂😂😂😂 the nurse face 😂
Rosalina 90 (4 months ago)
In real life you'd get in so much trouble being House. Pretty sure you're not supposed to set on seizures in your patients, probably against protocol and ethics and whatnot. Not that it doesn't work, it's just in real life you'd probably end up doing some serious damage at some point if you operated like House as a doctor.
Anonymous (4 months ago)
*What happen to the hot chick in purple and who was she!?*
aj koots (5 months ago)
you shouldve included que sara sara when house said hes running out of names to call the fat guy
Ron Ruddick (5 months ago)
An arm, an apple, a telephone... My bed? Is that an autoregulation warning? You could make the "say ooh" joke... The wheelchair and cart's interesting...
Orange Hat Guy (5 months ago)
Taub was retaining a Seizure ,dont do that.
Riski Dani (5 months ago)
Either you suck in math or you gonna die in 2 second..... Hahaha
cop警黑corrupt (5 months ago)
You're on drugs I'm not *I am*
wandering totoro (5 months ago)
FISHER!!!
cheesecake (5 months ago)
"No, you're pregnant"
ليان حلس (5 months ago)
"God , i love this family"😂😂
Renton Thunder (6 months ago)
The last case in the video. They were vegan but the fact that his poop floats means he has been eating meat.
Chris Anderson (6 months ago)
5:45 That's JP from Grandma's Boy
AkomaRampage (6 months ago)
House: Or it might be that your on drugs. Patient: I’m not! House: *I am*
Shadowkey392 (6 months ago)
Gotta love House screwing with his patients.
InsaneTacoz (6 months ago)
“ARE YOU INSANE!?” :)
Sabina (6 months ago)
Did house break the fourth wall at the end?
KingCookie 30733 (6 months ago)
"You suck at math."
kseven dhandapani (6 months ago)
"GOD I LOVE THIS FAMILY!!"😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Wrist disabled Writer (6 months ago)
I love the pulse one
Michael Asta (7 months ago)
I was dying when I realized that the first patient was actually the asshole doctor from Parks and Recreation.
blvckfall (7 months ago)
3 million views and couldn't bother changing the title
Isiah Arnold (7 months ago)
If anyone is wondering the last guy’s poop was floating because of fat deposits, he had been eating burgers behind his girlfriends back.
Andrew Bloom (10 days ago)
Still probably shouldn't float though. I've eaten red meats my whole life and mine didn't start floating until after I had my gallbladder out.
Ricebunny Moon (2 months ago)
Thank you 🙏
D N A (3 months ago)
Lipids contain fats which are lighter than water
Nox Perpetua (7 months ago)
DIO BOIA
Jessica B (7 months ago)
Vincent, get back to work!!
Melorita 677 (7 months ago)
which season and episode is with the dude who got a seizure??

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