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Jordan Peterson - How To Fight Social Anxiety

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original source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nb5cBkbQpGY Psychology Professor Dr. Jordan B. Peterson explains what happens to a social anxious person internally in a social situation. Don't tell them to stop worrying about it', because that never works. A much more effective way is to make eye contact with people. Dr. Peterson's new book is available for pre-order: 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos: http://amzn.to/2yvJf9L If you want to support Dr. Peterson, here is his Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/jordanbpeterson Check out Jordan Peterson's Self Authoring Program, a powerful tool to sort yourself out: http://bit.ly/selfAuth (Official affiliate link for Bite-sized Philosophy)
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Text Comments (973)
sleep_beauty32145 (8 days ago)
This is what actually happens to me. Like if I walk in the halls in my school I will always look down and refuse to let people see my face especially my eyes. I always felt that people always looked at me very harshly and judgement and I have poor social skills I can’t start up a conversation without being awkward. If I speak with somebody it’s small talk and if I feel comfortable with that person I open up a little. If somebody were to give me a compliment it catches me off guard and I don’t how to respond. If the teacher catches me off guard by saying a simple question and I don’t have time to be mentally prepared for it, I stutter or my face gets red that people are waiting on me. I learn how to live with it, but it did gotten worse to point were I start having panic attacks or anxiety every single week, month.
nateo200 (9 days ago)
The simplicity as to how Peterson describes complex realities and perceptions into bite-sized concepts is what makes him so legendary (at least in part).
Junior (10 days ago)
This advice is worth gold. I tried it over the past month and I have immediately noticed a change with how people interact with me
Mohanna Rabbaee (21 days ago)
I like his body language. You can understand what he is talking about by his body language
Still thinking of white elephants
I BraveHeart (25 days ago)
I could set there and lesson to Peterson all day
Crossdownstreet (1 month ago)
Now I know why my teachers keep looking at me, they aren't. They're looking at everyone
teme9333 (1 month ago)
Did anyone else think of a pink elephant when he said "don't think of a white elephant"
bunu türkçeye çeviren vizyon sahibi türk arkadaşıma burdan sevgiler yolluyorum
tobias muller (1 month ago)
very helpfull.
Noah Manzella (1 month ago)
10,000 awkward maga tards now beaming people with their eyes
Help me saving him dude is helping me in so many ways
Zeek M (1 month ago)
Peterson, when your students find out nothing you've said or done is a real solution. They're going to hang you.
TheChazas (1 month ago)
I never heard anything more appealing or lecturing in my life as Jordan. He really motivates and changes thinking on every aspect.
Lewis (1 month ago)
What if you don't get invited to the party in the first place?
Prince Des Pingouins (1 month ago)
*"that's always the terrible predator that has the gold"*
Dario Spirit (1 month ago)
How is that girl in front row with a scarf ever gonna get enlightened, when she is brainwashed? Those who get what I'm aiming at will know. Snowflakes and religious zealots won't.
19gregers (1 month ago)
I find it easier to be in a group, and talk then one on one. I also find that I find some people make me feel awkward even though I dont really know them but then I can't shake the feeling and I permantly feels abit awkward also I don't like walking past people at work and talking to them because I know ill repeatedly bump into them through out the course of the day. Any advice would be cool or tips Thanks
Tarfk Ant (1 month ago)
Answer: STOP PORN.
Demet (1 month ago)
But my problem is not only having anxiety when i have to socialize with someone. I even feel anxious when i don't have to talk. when i'm with someone from my family in the same room and we're just watching tv, or when i'm outside walking on an (empty) street. I feel anxious always and everywhere. And i did everything my therapist said, i went a lot outside by myself and with friends, i even went on a stage. But my anxiety don't get any better, it just gets worse. I even tried a lot of different medications. I just don't know what to do anymore, i can't live like this.
bnsgokugreat (1 month ago)
He is John Oldman from Man From Earth movie!
YuJin Dev (1 month ago)
1. Don't avoid. Face it.
Ceaser Martinez (1 month ago)
His passion makes psychology interesting.
Bmac xx (1 month ago)
Out of all the Peterson videos, this is my favourite, he was way to on point with this one
Jake Andrews (2 months ago)
What this doesn’t tackle is the situation when you look at the people and don’t see what you Iike. Some people are initially judgemental for example, you may watch them at that party and become aware that they don’t like you in a situation where if you shyed away you could pretend to yourself you were confident. I am very confident with people I have become intimate at with over time, but in a new social situation I can be like the hunched person he is describing. But I would not consider myself to be socially anxious.
Side Effects (2 months ago)
I came here to be relieved of my anxiety but I only became more anxious. Anyone else?
Side Effects (2 months ago)
This dude is bugging me.
Andyrew OG (2 months ago)
Idk about this man, I’m socially anxious and it’s very hard to ever get myself to go to any parties and I’m rarely invited anyway. I like the part where he says about talking to one person I’ve found that one to be helpful in a group of people.
Dillon Leaf (2 months ago)
Nefelibata (2 months ago)
I'm not sure the focus outwards always helps, might as well drift off seems that stress people out less the way I view it.
Shadow747 (2 months ago)
I cant look at people. I just get this increadible unvoluntary feeling of.. idk.. i just cant..
Shadow747 (2 months ago)
I wish this could be my personal therapist :c
john boy (2 months ago)
Will cost a fortune lol.
Sweet Lord (2 months ago)
Quetzalcoatlus (2 months ago)
I have problems with eye contact because if I'm looking at a guy I want to fight them and if I look at a girl I want to "other f word" them. I've also heard that too much eye contact is bad. How much is the correct amount. I usually just don't look at because because then I get distracted thinking about it, and I can understand their feelings better if I just focus on their words more.
ichaukan (2 months ago)
The villain always delivers the message you do not want to hear.
ProfiYntroz (2 months ago)
What subject does he teach? Philosophy, psychology ??
jojso kilo (2 months ago)
hang out with possitive people. Watch possitive things, eath healthy, sport, nobody judges you because they are budy with themself to solve their own life puzzle. Als who are theh to judge anyway, theh are from meat and blood like you and me. They shit like evrrybody does. and if there is something that you dont like about youreself than change it. And if you are lazy, than work first on that. do it for youreself. You will start loving youreself. And when you love youreself, other people will love you too. it like getting and A on school, mkaes you feeld good and confident. imagine alot of ++++++ in youre life will fill that body with happiness. it wont even care you what others think. You wont even think about it. Thats my point and it helps. Nothing is easy, being happy cots alot of work. but if you think just sitting and doing nothing it will come, it wont.
Devin Peirce (2 months ago)
I always introduce myself to new people by singing " I'm so cute , I'm so cute , everybody thinks so , everybody thinks so! 🎶
epicbehavior (2 months ago)
Wow! He’s looking at individuals, not the group. This is the most mind-blowing public speaking epiphany.
Stich (2 months ago)
Wtf dude I can’t stop thinking about white elephants
A- DOG (2 months ago)
This man is like a stamp i get for my theories....Thats exactly how i overcame my social anxiety.....Also if u think abt it, other ppl are not very different from you.They dont hv d time to think abt you.Most of the times they r caught up in their own lifes or are thinking abt yr perception of them.
Vincent-Alexandre Ouimet (3 months ago)
Idk to what extent this is true but in my opinion, social anxiety and anxiety in general is caused by a lack of preperation for a certain task or experience. A social anxious person has difficulty interacting socially because they are unprepared to social norms and ettiquette. What got me over my anxiety was to create a second narrative in my own head, as if my own ego was giving advice on my conscious self to lead me through those sociatal norms.
Kavi Shinde (3 months ago)
This is from India. Mr.Jordan Peterson Iam your big follower and I have LEARNED SO MUCH FROM YOU!!! Thank You!!!!
Anti-Anti SJW Tactics (3 months ago)
If Jordan Peterson is philosophy then Doctor Pepper is a real doctor. Jordan sues people to silence them. He even sued one woman for calling him an "incel". Jordan hates free speech. Jordan told his supporters to send death threats to Pinkaj Mishra. He even threatened Mishra with physical violence saying, "I'd slap you happily". Jordan Told Joe Rogan that he drank a cup of apple cider vinegar and said it made it stay awake for 11 days with "sense of impending doom". He wants to ban women from wearing make-up. Look up Umberto Eco and Ur-Fascism and you'll see a picture of Jordan's face. Syncretism, traditionalism, defense of "western civilization", anti-feminism/machismo, all signs of real fascism that Fox News beloved Jordan spews at his dumb followers. Jordan jokes about literally beating up a two year old and his fans think it's ok? Talk about fucking dumb. His mentally challenged, useful idiot followers always say "that's not what he meant". Stupid fucks. It's astonishing how dumb people are. The Kochs and government want you to hate the sjws and Marxists. It's what they love. Jordan Peterson loves the 1950s because he'd lack to black list all the Marxists and have them locked up HUAC, Joe McCarthy, and J. Edgar Hoover style. Jordan loves the 1954 Communist Control Act. He'd love to lock up Marxists and socialists. College professors and Marxists started the Civil Rights Movement. Jordan hates the Civil Rights Movement and the 1960s.
Great Video...great explanation, examples and metaphor to break it down...hard topic to tackle.
Brandon Davis (3 months ago)
I've come to a point where I realize I don't socialize on occasions not because I'm the one who is awkward but because INSTITUTIONS force us to socialize (school, work, etc). In other words, I'm not interested in being forced to socialize, so I don't. But when institutions force you to socialize when you aren't interested and then shame you for when you don't they instil in people "you are wrong for not wanting to socialize; a loner; shy, etc". It's not to say I don't have the compacity to find others interesting or enjoyable, but don't force me, and even worse, don't tell me I'm wrong when forcing me and I don't comply out of lack of interest. Let me make my own decisions, and as proved to myself over and over and over, I will socialize supremely when I'm genuinely interested in doing so.
SubscribeItWontHURT (3 months ago)
Most of us feel the same way , infact all of us feel the same . So don't be afraid . it just a human thing
Sherowwdy (3 months ago)
wtfff.... for years I have been wondering why I am scared of eye contact. This morning I found a piece of the puzzle. I don't feel safe. I am scared. You explain this so effortlessly... Thank you! Anyone know where to look next to know how to fix this without people thinking I am weird?
Good advice
Kenny X (3 months ago)
but when you look at other ppl you are self conscious you might look for too long and it will turn into a stare....and ppl may even ask "why you looking at me like that?"...now thats a dead give away you are doing it wrong lol. so self conscious ppl are mechanical to some degree, like robots....also..if someone says "dont look at some for more than 1.5 seconds..."..thats not gonna help...cos you cant start a stopwatch and time it can u? its a fine line
BodyKnight (4 months ago)
General rule for a stand up comedian show and a Jordan Peterson lecture: never sit in the first row.
quicklern818 (4 months ago)
yeah i hunch...damn.
C The Ripper (4 months ago)
Why do i see some much animosity towards this man? He's such an intelligent and enthralling speaker.
Rajan Kumar (4 months ago)
jordan peterson the man of values
Tommy Cachimuel (4 months ago)
Why couldn't you teach in my school dammit
Itz_Kuri (4 months ago)
It sucks even more if youre an aquarius and have social anxiety
ZNsnowbell4 (4 months ago)
I just watched an ad on this video that said "You can watch as much youtube videos on social anxiety but you'll never overcome it...." Well Thanks. Proceeds to skipping ad...
Bearded Tit (4 months ago)
Wow, I'm going to try some of this. My social anxiety manifests itself in sweating and is pretty erratic. Sometimes I'm ok; I can let a quiet place (a pub for example) get busy as the night goes on and I'm fine. But I'm almost crippled if I walk into the same place and it is already busy. I'm also not too good at eating with my back to people - strangers mostly - in restaurants. I'm normally fine after about ten minutes, when I've settled down into the social situation. It's very rare that I have to get the hell out of somewhere, and I've gotten much better since I addressed my diet and started exercising. I think this gave me more confidence in a social setting. Thanks for listening!
New Thought (4 months ago)
Great talk. These students are lucky.
Bearded Tit (4 months ago)
New Thought I was thinking the same thing!
Dylan Mcnally (4 months ago)
As soon as I clicked this video I got an ad saying "you can watch as many videos about overcoming social anxiety as you want and it's still not going to help you overcome social anxiety" 😂 the YT overlords are watching me 😶🔍.
Dylan Mcnally (4 months ago)
+Bearded Tit I just got the exact same ad after I reopened this video to respond to your comment 😂😁😊😂
Bearded Tit (4 months ago)
Dylan Mcnally Ha! Me too 😆
Will Baldene (4 months ago)
♥ ♥ ♥
Grievous MacAdam (4 months ago)
LIKE if you an incel
Lord VENUS (4 months ago)
As i tried it worked well.
ARMY imnida (4 months ago)
Just look at individuals and strike up convos when u can. Don't be diffident or afraid.
ARMY imnida (5 months ago)
This man is a legend das all I'm saying
Joshua Hillel (5 months ago)
Shouldn't these guys be studying law or something to get a job at the end.. I mean a career.. So that's university nowadays.. I tend to think if you can't make proper studies just don't make any.. Be a good cook, or a good mechanic.. A good nurse.. What are they studying litterature and psychology for.. Less than 1% of them are gonna be professors, the rest are gonna be rejected by the system.. Mothers at home if they make a good marriage.. If these girls would be studying to be nurses close to 90% of them would get a career.
barcaman101 (5 months ago)
Social anxiety and awkwardness plagued me my entire life , can't go to a club , meet women or interact with a large crowd without feeling like my heart is gonna explode. I'll try his advice
steve salt (5 months ago)
Brilliant... Brilliant... Brilliant!!!
ITS Qahlur (5 months ago)
This man is shaping me personality
Bearded Tit (4 months ago)
Nasrul Hulk Change my life, man!
christopher perez perez (5 months ago)
Peterson for president!
Dr. Ho Lee Phuk (4 months ago)
He's Canadian,
Bearded Tit (4 months ago)
christopher perez perez And Prime Minister! 🇬🇧
Michael B (4 months ago)
I’ve always realized this too. If I avoid thinking about a group as a hive mind, then you see people are individuals standing together
TheSeagole (5 months ago)
i am so amazed by this man
Mohammad Al amin (5 months ago)
You are like father on internet for me
Matthew Zylinski (5 months ago)
i used too have real bad social anxiety like too the point where restraunts would be a problem, then I started working out and giving myself goals and becuase of that my confidence has skyrocketted i honestly think confidence is the key too overcoming anything.
Bearded Tit (4 months ago)
Matthew Zylinski Me too, Matthew! I'm still not 100% but I'm getting there.
JOHN JAKELIC (5 months ago)
Jordan Peterson reminds me of another cracker-Fitz from 'Cracker' series: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M010n2rSBQI
RICKY RICK (5 months ago)
Man I needed this guy to mentor me when I was a teenager
Small Dick (5 months ago)
This clown is on anti depressants and anti anxiety meds... easy to overcome with the right pills
Magikpotion (5 months ago)
Excalibur Umbra (5 months ago)
A few times a person commented that I'm so quiet in class. That was in college. WHY THE HELL DO PEOPLE DO THAT?! IT'S EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE AND MAKES ME FEEL ALIEN OR SOMETHING OR SOME SHIT IDK. And this one girl says that I talk a lot which is stupid since I don't, I just had a lot of things to say at that time about whatever it was. Did she just tell me to shut up? Did I do something wrong?? I don't understand this at all.
Magikpotion (5 months ago)
I hate when people do stuff like that, pointing out that you're so quiet, infront of everyone else. Do they want to make an issue out of it? Do they think they're helping? It's already obvious enough without them pointing it out. Nothing good comes from it, it just draws even more attention to you while you blabber something incoherently about how it had always been that way, or that's just how you function. Fucking demons out there. I swear next time I'll snap at them, 'What's it to you?', cause I'd really like to know.
Dr ThoughtBot (5 months ago)
That’s not how I thought social anxiety worked. If the fear of being judged was the issue, everyone would be socially anxious. The problem is a low self esteem, which makes you transfer the thought that you suck into what you think everyone thinks of you. This results in you thinking everyone is negatively judging you. Realize this and ask yourself why do I think everyone will judge me. Do I actually physically suck so much that everyone will hate me? The answer is no. You think you suck but as a human being you don’t. Just think about it, when have you actually been judged like you judge yourself in your own head? All healthy humans are likable one way or another. I’m no expert though, I only speak from experience and the method I used to overcome anxiety.
Koo Koo Roo (5 months ago)
Interesting that he thought it was important to bring up The Eye and Horus in this teaching...Illuminati much?
Ogun harbinger of Iron (5 months ago)
One day at a time.
Freedom Seekers (5 months ago)
This guys seems like he's under a hell a lot of stress
Daffie Dill (5 months ago)
With my social anxiety, if it was just parties I would be laughing, I can feel nervous as soon as I exit the house and walk down the street, self conscious even if there is no-one there!
Andrew G (5 months ago)
"Never speak to the group of people, that doesn't exist. You talk to individuals, and then they reflect for you the entire group"
Luiz Henrique Morais (5 months ago)
Kayla Leave (5 months ago)
Isn’t jesus horus ?
MovieNerd_EP (6 months ago)
I'm actually better at talking with groups because keeping eye contact with a single person is so difficult
Firstname Lastname (6 months ago)
A lot JP bullshit in there, but still helpful
Enrique Sanchez (6 months ago)
I’ve tried this shit and I ended up looking crazy! Whenever I would feel or think that I’m being judged by someone around me I would look into their eyes and just see this wtf face, and my thoughts would get in the way of me understanding what their thinking thru their eyes. And I would get just more awkward and embarrassed bc of all the wtf faces I was getting, I would think this person is looking st me thru the side of my eyes and look and they would look away then I would feel it again and look and they would get creeped out I would still look their way and into their eyes, this MADE IT WAY WORSE DR PETERSON WTFFFFFFF
Morando no Canada92 (3 months ago)
Enrique Sanchez the execution is not his fault lol
Lazarus (6 months ago)
What he said about the eye is very true I feel like my eyes are not paying any attention and just go blank when I think back to the situation and ask myself "what were my eyes doing?" , why ? Because its hard to do, fear is involved, unrealistic future events playing in my head, if i do get the information, but certainly its possible,and a realistic advice, thanks.
Bill Bob (6 months ago)
This is awesome and I have no negative input on at all . It’s also a strong and aggressive way of dealing with your SA. But like he said it’s rough and life is rough. JP THANK YOU . And to whom ever is reading this I highly recommended you go and listen to a Guy named “Dr. Kamil Atta “ YouTube videos. He’s is spot on with the understanding of SA. And he’s pretty straightforward. IM NOT SAYING JP isn’t . I’m just simply giving out options to whom ever suffer from the mental illness of social anxiety. P.snSincerely conscious.
Eugene Krabs (6 months ago)
He sounds like Carl Jung.
Sergio Specalsiki (6 months ago)
Thegamer Ontop (6 months ago)
The genius of this man🗯💯
Kevin Tanjaya (6 months ago)
I wonder how that people that never been taught how to behave behaving to other people. Do you guys have some stories?
Movie Night (6 months ago)
The add lije wtf
Name (6 months ago)
Wow, I'm going to try this in my next presentation. I've been having a lot of difficulty speaking because I get distracted by nerves and I feel like this will help. I'm thinking back and I feel least nervous when someone asks me a question and I'm directly speaking to them. I'm going into accounting and I want to be able to public speak for work and socially as an adult. I want to be able to speak at weddings, funerals, birthdays and parties. I'm actually excited to try this out and practice it over the next year at college and I usually dread presentations.
Aaand i got a social anxiety ad
Martin Drake (6 months ago)
I was pissing my wife off in Barcelona. Had to walk past restaurants 3 or 4 times before I could go in. Always crossing the road to double back.
Nader Nassrallah (6 months ago)
White elephant White elephant White elephant White elephant....................................

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