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Jordan Peterson - How To Fight Social Anxiety

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original source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nb5cBkbQpGY Psychology Professor Dr. Jordan B. Peterson explains what happens to a social anxious person internally in a social situation. Don't tell them to stop worrying about it', because that never works. A much more effective way is to make eye contact with people. Dr. Peterson's new book is available for pre-order: 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos: http://amzn.to/2yvJf9L If you want to support Dr. Peterson, here is his Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/jordanbpeterson Check out Jordan Peterson's Self Authoring Program, a powerful tool to sort yourself out: http://bit.ly/selfAuth (Official affiliate link for Bite-sized Philosophy)
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Text Comments (946)
Dillon Leaf (1 day ago)
Why!!
Nefelibata (2 days ago)
I'm not sure the focus outwards always helps, might as well drift off seems that stress people out less the way I view it.
A random INTP (2 days ago)
I cant look at people. I just get this increadible unvoluntary feeling of.. idk.. i just cant..
A random INTP (2 days ago)
I wish this could be my personal therapist :c
Will cost a fortune lol.
Sweet Lord (3 days ago)
ward
Quetzalcoatlus (5 days ago)
I have problems with eye contact because if I'm looking at a guy I want to fight them and if I look at a girl I want to "other f word" them. I've also heard that too much eye contact is bad. How much is the correct amount. I usually just don't look at because because then I get distracted thinking about it, and I can understand their feelings better if I just focus on their words more.
ichaukan (6 days ago)
The villain always delivers the message you do not want to hear.
ProfiYntroz (8 days ago)
What subject does he teach? Philosophy, psychology ??
jojso kilo (15 days ago)
hang out with possitive people. Watch possitive things, eath healthy, sport, nobody judges you because they are budy with themself to solve their own life puzzle. Als who are theh to judge anyway, theh are from meat and blood like you and me. They shit like evrrybody does. and if there is something that you dont like about youreself than change it. And if you are lazy, than work first on that. do it for youreself. You will start loving youreself. And when you love youreself, other people will love you too. it like getting and A on school, mkaes you feeld good and confident. imagine alot of ++++++ in youre life will fill that body with happiness. it wont even care you what others think. You wont even think about it. Thats my point and it helps. Nothing is easy, being happy cots alot of work. but if you think just sitting and doing nothing it will come, it wont.
Devin Peirce (15 days ago)
I always introduce myself to new people by singing " I'm so cute , I'm so cute , everybody thinks so , everybody thinks so! 🎶
epicbehavior (20 days ago)
Wow! He’s looking at individuals, not the group. This is the most mind-blowing public speaking epiphany.
Stich (22 days ago)
Wtf dude I can’t stop thinking about white elephants
A- DOG (24 days ago)
This man is like a stamp i get for my theories....Thats exactly how i overcame my social anxiety.....Also if u think abt it, other ppl are not very different from you.They dont hv d time to think abt you.Most of the times they r caught up in their own lifes or are thinking abt yr perception of them.
Idk to what extent this is true but in my opinion, social anxiety and anxiety in general is caused by a lack of preperation for a certain task or experience. A social anxious person has difficulty interacting socially because they are unprepared to social norms and ettiquette. What got me over my anxiety was to create a second narrative in my own head, as if my own ego was giving advice on my conscious self to lead me through those sociatal norms.
Kavi Shinde (1 month ago)
This is from India. Mr.Jordan Peterson Iam your big follower and I have LEARNED SO MUCH FROM YOU!!! Thank You!!!!
Anti-Anti SJW Tactics (1 month ago)
If Jordan Peterson is philosophy then Doctor Pepper is a real doctor. Jordan sues people to silence them. He even sued one woman for calling him an "incel". Jordan hates free speech. Jordan told his supporters to send death threats to Pinkaj Mishra. He even threatened Mishra with physical violence saying, "I'd slap you happily". Jordan Told Joe Rogan that he drank a cup of apple cider vinegar and said it made it stay awake for 11 days with "sense of impending doom". He wants to ban women from wearing make-up. Look up Umberto Eco and Ur-Fascism and you'll see a picture of Jordan's face. Syncretism, traditionalism, defense of "western civilization", anti-feminism/machismo, all signs of real fascism that Fox News beloved Jordan spews at his dumb followers. Jordan jokes about literally beating up a two year old and his fans think it's ok? Talk about fucking dumb. His mentally challenged, useful idiot followers always say "that's not what he meant". Stupid fucks. It's astonishing how dumb people are. The Kochs and government want you to hate the sjws and Marxists. It's what they love. Jordan Peterson loves the 1950s because he'd lack to black list all the Marxists and have them locked up HUAC, Joe McCarthy, and J. Edgar Hoover style. Jordan loves the 1954 Communist Control Act. He'd love to lock up Marxists and socialists. College professors and Marxists started the Civil Rights Movement. Jordan hates the Civil Rights Movement and the 1960s.
Great Video...great explanation, examples and metaphor to break it down...hard topic to tackle.
Brandon Davis (1 month ago)
I've come to a point where I realize I don't socialize on occasions not because I'm the one who is awkward but because INSTITUTIONS force us to socialize (school, work, etc). In other words, I'm not interested in being forced to socialize, so I don't. But when institutions force you to socialize when you aren't interested and then shame you for when you don't they instil in people "you are wrong for not wanting to socialize; a loner; shy, etc". It's not to say I don't have the compacity to find others interesting or enjoyable, but don't force me, and even worse, don't tell me I'm wrong when forcing me and I don't comply out of lack of interest. Let me make my own decisions, and as proved to myself over and over and over, I will socialize supremely when I'm genuinely interested in doing so.
SubscribeItWontHURT (1 month ago)
Most of us feel the same way , infact all of us feel the same . So don't be afraid . it just a human thing
Sherowwdy (1 month ago)
wtfff.... for years I have been wondering why I am scared of eye contact. This morning I found a piece of the puzzle. I don't feel safe. I am scared. You explain this so effortlessly... Thank you! Anyone know where to look next to know how to fix this without people thinking I am weird?
Good advice
Kenny X (1 month ago)
but when you look at other ppl you are self conscious you might look for too long and it will turn into a stare....and ppl may even ask "why you looking at me like that?"...now thats a dead give away you are doing it wrong lol. so self conscious ppl are mechanical to some degree, like robots....also..if someone says "dont look at some for more than 1.5 seconds..."..thats not gonna help...cos you cant start a stopwatch and time it can u? its a fine line
BodyKnight (1 month ago)
General rule for a stand up comedian show and a Jordan Peterson lecture: never sit in the first row.
quicklern818 (1 month ago)
yeah i hunch...damn.
C The Ripper (2 months ago)
Why do i see some much animosity towards this man? He's such an intelligent and enthralling speaker.
Rajan Kumar (2 months ago)
jordan peterson the man of values
Reverie Song (2 months ago)
Appreciate this man so much.
Tommy Cachimuel (2 months ago)
Why couldn't you teach in my school dammit
Itz_Kuri (2 months ago)
It sucks even more if youre an aquarius and have social anxiety
ZNsnowbell4 (2 months ago)
I just watched an ad on this video that said "You can watch as much youtube videos on social anxiety but you'll never overcome it...." Well Thanks. Proceeds to skipping ad...
Bearded Tit (2 months ago)
Wow, I'm going to try some of this. My social anxiety manifests itself in sweating and is pretty erratic. Sometimes I'm ok; I can let a quiet place (a pub for example) get busy as the night goes on and I'm fine. But I'm almost crippled if I walk into the same place and it is already busy. I'm also not too good at eating with my back to people - strangers mostly - in restaurants. I'm normally fine after about ten minutes, when I've settled down into the social situation. It's very rare that I have to get the hell out of somewhere, and I've gotten much better since I addressed my diet and started exercising. I think this gave me more confidence in a social setting. Thanks for listening!
New Thought (2 months ago)
Great talk. These students are lucky.
Bearded Tit (2 months ago)
New Thought I was thinking the same thing!
Dylan Mcnally (2 months ago)
As soon as I clicked this video I got an ad saying "you can watch as many videos about overcoming social anxiety as you want and it's still not going to help you overcome social anxiety" 😂 the YT overlords are watching me 😶🔍.
Dylan Mcnally (2 months ago)
+Bearded Tit I just got the exact same ad after I reopened this video to respond to your comment 😂😁😊😂
Bearded Tit (2 months ago)
Dylan Mcnally Ha! Me too 😆
Will Baldene (2 months ago)
♥ ♥ ♥
Grievous MacAdam (2 months ago)
LIKE if you an incel
Lord VENUS (2 months ago)
As i tried it worked well.
ARMY imnida (2 months ago)
Just look at individuals and strike up convos when u can. Don't be diffident or afraid.
ARMY imnida (2 months ago)
This man is a legend das all I'm saying
Joshua Hillel (2 months ago)
Shouldn't these guys be studying law or something to get a job at the end.. I mean a career.. So that's university nowadays.. I tend to think if you can't make proper studies just don't make any.. Be a good cook, or a good mechanic.. A good nurse.. What are they studying litterature and psychology for.. Less than 1% of them are gonna be professors, the rest are gonna be rejected by the system.. Mothers at home if they make a good marriage.. If these girls would be studying to be nurses close to 90% of them would get a career.
barcaman101 (2 months ago)
Social anxiety and awkwardness plagued me my entire life , can't go to a club , meet women or interact with a large crowd without feeling like my heart is gonna explode. I'll try his advice
steve salt (3 months ago)
Brilliant... Brilliant... Brilliant!!!
Nasrul Hulk (3 months ago)
This man is shaping me personality
Bearded Tit (2 months ago)
Nasrul Hulk Change my life, man!
christopher perez perez (3 months ago)
Peterson for president!
Dr. Ho Lee Phuk (2 months ago)
He's Canadian,
Bearded Tit (2 months ago)
christopher perez perez And Prime Minister! 🇬🇧
Michael B (2 months ago)
I’ve always realized this too. If I avoid thinking about a group as a hive mind, then you see people are individuals standing together
TheSeagole (3 months ago)
i am so amazed by this man
Mohammad Al amin (3 months ago)
You are like father on internet for me
Matthew Zylinski (3 months ago)
i used too have real bad social anxiety like too the point where restraunts would be a problem, then I started working out and giving myself goals and becuase of that my confidence has skyrocketted i honestly think confidence is the key too overcoming anything.
Bearded Tit (2 months ago)
Matthew Zylinski Me too, Matthew! I'm still not 100% but I'm getting there.
JOHN JAKELIC (3 months ago)
Jordan Peterson reminds me of another cracker-Fitz from 'Cracker' series: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M010n2rSBQI
RICKY RICK (3 months ago)
Man I needed this guy to mentor me when I was a teenager
Small Dick (3 months ago)
This clown is on anti depressants and anti anxiety meds... easy to overcome with the right pills
Magikpotion (3 months ago)
Was
Excalibur Umbra (3 months ago)
A few times a person commented that I'm so quiet in class. That was in college. WHY THE HELL DO PEOPLE DO THAT?! IT'S EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE AND MAKES ME FEEL ALIEN OR SOMETHING OR SOME SHIT IDK. And this one girl says that I talk a lot which is stupid since I don't, I just had a lot of things to say at that time about whatever it was. Did she just tell me to shut up? Did I do something wrong?? I don't understand this at all.
Magikpotion (3 months ago)
I hate when people do stuff like that, pointing out that you're so quiet, infront of everyone else. Do they want to make an issue out of it? Do they think they're helping? It's already obvious enough without them pointing it out. Nothing good comes from it, it just draws even more attention to you while you blabber something incoherently about how it had always been that way, or that's just how you function. Fucking demons out there. I swear next time I'll snap at them, 'What's it to you?', cause I'd really like to know.
Dr ThoughtBot (3 months ago)
That’s not how I thought social anxiety worked. If the fear of being judged was the issue, everyone would be socially anxious. The problem is a low self esteem, which makes you transfer the thought that you suck into what you think everyone thinks of you. This results in you thinking everyone is negatively judging you. Realize this and ask yourself why do I think everyone will judge me. Do I actually physically suck so much that everyone will hate me? The answer is no. You think you suck but as a human being you don’t. Just think about it, when have you actually been judged like you judge yourself in your own head? All healthy humans are likable one way or another. I’m no expert though, I only speak from experience and the method I used to overcome anxiety.
Koo Koo Roo (3 months ago)
Interesting that he thought it was important to bring up The Eye and Horus in this teaching...Illuminati much?
Ogun harbinger of Iron (3 months ago)
One day at a time.
Freedom Seekers (3 months ago)
This guys seems like he's under a hell a lot of stress
Daffie Dill (3 months ago)
With my social anxiety, if it was just parties I would be laughing, I can feel nervous as soon as I exit the house and walk down the street, self conscious even if there is no-one there!
Andrew G (3 months ago)
"Never speak to the group of people, that doesn't exist. You talk to individuals, and then they reflect for you the entire group"
Luiz Henrique Morais (3 months ago)
amazing!
Kayla Leave (3 months ago)
Isn’t jesus horus ?
MovieNerd_EP (3 months ago)
I'm actually better at talking with groups because keeping eye contact with a single person is so difficult
Firstname Lastname (3 months ago)
A lot JP bullshit in there, but still helpful
Enrique Sanchez (3 months ago)
I’ve tried this shit and I ended up looking crazy! Whenever I would feel or think that I’m being judged by someone around me I would look into their eyes and just see this wtf face, and my thoughts would get in the way of me understanding what their thinking thru their eyes. And I would get just more awkward and embarrassed bc of all the wtf faces I was getting, I would think this person is looking st me thru the side of my eyes and look and they would look away then I would feel it again and look and they would get creeped out I would still look their way and into their eyes, this MADE IT WAY WORSE DR PETERSON WTFFFFFFF
Morando no Canada92 (1 month ago)
Enrique Sanchez the execution is not his fault lol
Lazarus (3 months ago)
What he said about the eye is very true I feel like my eyes are not paying any attention and just go blank when I think back to the situation and ask myself "what were my eyes doing?" , why ? Because its hard to do, fear is involved, unrealistic future events playing in my head, if i do get the information, but certainly its possible,and a realistic advice, thanks.
Bill Bob (3 months ago)
This is awesome and I have no negative input on at all . It’s also a strong and aggressive way of dealing with your SA. But like he said it’s rough and life is rough. JP THANK YOU . And to whom ever is reading this I highly recommended you go and listen to a Guy named “Dr. Kamil Atta “ YouTube videos. He’s is spot on with the understanding of SA. And he’s pretty straightforward. IM NOT SAYING JP isn’t . I’m just simply giving out options to whom ever suffer from the mental illness of social anxiety. P.snSincerely conscious.
Eugene Krabs (3 months ago)
He sounds like Carl Jung.
Sergio Specalsiki (4 months ago)
THIS GUY IS NOTHING BUT A JACKASS....
Thegamer Ontop (4 months ago)
The genius of this man🗯💯
Kevin Tanjaya (4 months ago)
I wonder how that people that never been taught how to behave behaving to other people. Do you guys have some stories?
Movie Night (4 months ago)
The add lije wtf
Name (4 months ago)
Wow, I'm going to try this in my next presentation. I've been having a lot of difficulty speaking because I get distracted by nerves and I feel like this will help. I'm thinking back and I feel least nervous when someone asks me a question and I'm directly speaking to them. I'm going into accounting and I want to be able to public speak for work and socially as an adult. I want to be able to speak at weddings, funerals, birthdays and parties. I'm actually excited to try this out and practice it over the next year at college and I usually dread presentations.
Aaand i got a social anxiety ad
Martin Drake (4 months ago)
I was pissing my wife off in Barcelona. Had to walk past restaurants 3 or 4 times before I could go in. Always crossing the road to double back.
Nader Nassrallah (4 months ago)
White elephant White elephant White elephant White elephant....................................
Top Lobster (4 months ago)
this helps me. Not just with socializing but with my own teaching.
Lawrence Lozoya (4 months ago)
Dude, the ad that came on right before this is literally telling me that social anxiety videos won't actually help, if you have it... Dude, I was just curious!
Santiago Toro (4 months ago)
Genius
BGaming Videos (4 months ago)
I wish I saw this before my speech class. Jesus that class was bad! Never been in more stress in my life. I just want to die when my name gets called, I live in slow motion until I get to the podium. By the time I'm ready to speak my face is glazed with sweat, everyone can see I'm struggling. My hands visibly shake, so I hide them behind the podium. Truth is I'm a good speaker, I articulate, I'm concise and intelligent when I do so. My speeches are well written, jokes infused, I stay on point. But the act of speaking in public makes me want to do literally anything else, no matter how terrible. Getting hit by a car for instance, at the time I would have much preferred temporary pain to the level of discomfort I was in. My friends before the speech became my judgmental enemies during the speech, then after - no matter how bad it goes, we high five and I sit back down. Heart racing 180 bpm as if I just ran a mile full sprint. For 10 minutes my entire perspective changed, and then as soon as the eyes are off of me, I'm back to normal.
roserocksrapidly (4 months ago)
Smiling and actually breathing helps too. Often times, people will smile back and it's super encouraging
ExistentialPonder (4 months ago)
I fucking love this guy.
Grey Line (4 months ago)
I’m a practicing counsellor and I have really bad social anxiety. Crazy as it seems I do. That initial first client meeting I suffer really bad physiological symptoms that are totally uncontrollable. Racing heart, shaky voice and tremble uncontrollably. Once I get into it I’m fine, but it’s the most awful feeling in the world. It’s almost like I leave my body. I’m using mindfulness techniques to help me combat my anxiety and doing lots of reading. I don’t have a large circle of friends and don’t really like socialising. I’m aware this is unhelpful and I understand why I don’t socialise, I just wish the symptoms will subside.
Matt Taylor (4 months ago)
Oh, I get it. PAY attention.
fungussa (4 months ago)
Profound stuff!
android Andre (5 months ago)
surprised he did not say go take meds right off the bat. Probably because suicide is not mentioned with anxiety.
Cameron Pangborn (5 months ago)
What I love about him most is he breaks down everything we all know and helps us understand it infinitely better.
d olive (5 months ago)
Interesting
Stransky (5 months ago)
The funny thing is that I got an add about a guy talking about "stop watching videos about how to overcome social anxiety, listen to me instead!"
Paul Bagg (6 months ago)
I would love to take a class with Dr. Peterson.
jonoboyle (6 months ago)
Take it further. Identify the retards showing off and smile while giving them a wide birth, stand next to a shy person and help them relax. I was not the toughest lad in town back in the day so found huge social anxiety at a teenage party or two and eventually decided parties are not for me. I look back and have an uncanny memory of sitting on a sofa drunk as a skunk with around 8 girls whom were - like myself - more thoughtful and academic, and pretty, aiming for me because of great social skills around women, politeness and gentility, with the balls to stand up verbally for myself. I actually had the moment I thought was reserved for Mr Awesome... I had no idea at 16 how many of my female classmates were trying to catch my eye, because I was too busy criticising myself for not being the tough guy around the foolish lads. Why? I wasn't a lad, I'd grown up in a female dominated household with a deceased father - I was leagues ahead of the lads...and I suppose my family and future were the things I was focussed on. I could regret it, however, life is strange and I have travelled far and wide over 30 years, seen a family torn asunder and thereafter healed. I am in a situation (job relationship income location lifestyle) I truly enjoy, one which those classmates would not be able to handle, so no regrets I was too naive to notice young ladies paying me attention and awaiting my approach. Like the great Lao Tse says...tune in to your life's flow, it knows where it is going anyways. Parties are usually dominated by a couple of sociopaths vying for attention because they are needy but good at faking confidence. We are all the same inside with worries about ourselves. learn to focus early, shut out the haters and naysayers and go for your intuitive goals. Shed the retards, only then can the valuable souls find you. As it happens I think I threw the best party for my peers, my family were moving house so my schoolmates had free reign over the whole place and I was busily enjoying a party with great alternative music for once, The garden became fashionable garments and I became legendary. As usual once I had succeeded in a the challenge of socialising I scarpered. The rest is a story of itchy feet and neurons.... Professor Peterson has enabled me to review a life and deem it well spent, for this I owe him a debt of reputation, he has a message which could oust the idiocy from western culture - spread it far spread it wide. I lecture in language and culture. To the future I urge that you retain the values of your culture and judge the new as harshly as you can, for it is greatly marketed, rather cheap and false. I pity the youth growing up in the Americas, for it's culture is truly faked. Like The prof suggests, selective reading around existential problems will help you to decide upon the right path for yourself. Good luck and value the earth above all other things. Namaste.
E M (7 months ago)
Wow this one is really eye opening no pun intended
Mike Mattson (7 months ago)
well when your an introvert you'd just don't care lol i still get social anxiety from time to time. just in large groups of people.
Chris Ortega (7 months ago)
I never realized how much I avoided eye contact, but once I started to look people dead in the eyes it truly sets the bar for body language.
wooooooot1 (7 months ago)
Jordan teaches you to be a man! He says when you feel foolish you want to look away! NO THATS WHAT YOU LOOK AT! Pay attention to what that is! It will teach you something!
Manuel Almeida (7 months ago)
Oh my, guess I've been wrong all the time by ripping a big fart to put myself at ease...
Serclf s (7 months ago)
So what happens when you stare at the monster and it licks its lips? I look at people and they look baffled and confused, repulsed and disgusted. What's the solution to being unlikable when you're being yourself.
Rain Kikkas (8 months ago)
i wish that dude would had taught me since 2 year old
Video Gojima (8 months ago)
Everyone is socially anxious at some point. There's no real overcoming it, it's more just accepting the fear and going along with it
Mustard Gravy (8 months ago)
2:42 tiddies
puru (8 months ago)
This might be weird but this is like my 10th time watching this particular video (or listening to the audio, I downloaded the mp3 as well). Every time I feel that social anxiety creeping back in, I try to remember why I need to keep looking, not to look away. I already knew this stuff logically and objectively speaking. This isn't anything new. But you need someone to keep reminding you of this because the brain is not inherently logical when it comes to self perception. Most of the time it tends towards negative conclusions in the face of the unknown. "I don't know the meaning of this reaction, that must mean it's [insert negative interpretation]." So I need to keep reminding myself of the things he talks about in this video. It also helps that his presentation is really powerful, which is great for motivation. I wrote little keywords that I linked in my mind with the content of this particular clip as labels for my alarms. So that when I wake up in the morning, I remember to ignore my brain's default mode of operation in social situations, and start learning the new one, just as I'm starting the day. My social anxiety is horrible for someone in their early twenties. That is about to change, I hope. It's way past time for that.
Connor Mcgee (9 months ago)
I feel coward when I watched this video.
sadiebaby (9 months ago)
damn right in the beggining when he said the party was a monster, i felt that... already tearing up ! great !!

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